Hippy hippy shake

Ive been thinking that jack needed to make more friends and have more social time with other kids So i decided to broaden his horizons and try out one of those mommy and me music classes...  Its only 30 min how bad could it be? So we get there, looks pretty normal but then I am welcomed by the oddest most unique group of women I'd ever seen! It was nothing but a bunch a freeloving hippy treehuggers! Don't get me wrong I'm all for those organic mommies but thats just not my cup of tea. You say free range chicken and locally grown produce I say McDonalds and Green Giant..you get the point.. So I'm sitting there overwhelmed by all of this when the ladies come up and start talking to me blah blah blah inspired blah blah blah something about grass ( I was completely ingazed by this lady's moo-stache so I really wasn't paying attention to all of what she was saying) ?Grass?! Well the only grass Jack eats is the stuff I don't get out of his hands quick enough when we are outside. The ladies were not amused blah blah blah wheat germ " oh he gets plenty of germs especially from licking the handles of the buggies at the grocery store!" again not amused... Blah blah blah intellect (finally a word I understood) " ooohhh my baby is soooo smart Jack, Jack come here tell mommy- where do you go poo poo?.." by this time I swear I could hear crickets chirping so I did what any normal mom would do... I pretended Jack shated all over himself and I had to leave cause I had no other clothes! (God please forgive me but I'm willing to pay all consequences for making up that one) so we high tailed it outta there! No way was I gonna spend
The next 27 min in there.. A few more sessions of that and I would have grown out my armpit hair and started listening to Alanis Morrsette religiously... Needless to say we will stick to Our ol' redneck backwoods way of life and our few "close friends"